What You Don’t See
by The.Story.Girl.20
Summary: Or what being an Avenger is really like. Mostly oneshots, some connected. T for some sad, serious realities of life.
1. What You Don’t See

Hello lovelies! I'm putting the Author's note here because I threw out most of the cannon and want you all to understand what I did.

.

Basically SHIELD fell, for reasons I will explain. The five Avengers, Peter (because he's too great to leave out), Bucky (because THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO WITH HIM), and Maria Hill (that's why SHIELD fell. I want her around because she's cool) all live in the tower. Most of the rest of Marvel cannon is scrapped in my world. Yup. It's nothing crazy, I'm just ignoring most of the MCU...

.

Be warned, our heroes are not happy in this. Nothing graphic, but rated T because I wouldn't want my 11 year old sister reading this.

.

Betaed by the lovely Eldestoffivesisters15. Any mistakes are mine.

.

Need I say I don't own anything? Marvel owns all.

* * *

It's 3:42 in the afternoon. This is the side of the Avengers you don't see.

.

The Avengers file slowly into the Quinjet and take their respective spots. Tony Stark sits in the cockpit with Maria Hill, and they silently start it up. They've worked together for long enough that they don't actually need to talk to know what to do. The Quinjet fires up, and they are off. Tony sets it on autopilot and closes his eyes. Maria stares straight ahead.

.

Bruce Banner makes straight for the bathroom. It's all he can do to stop himself from puking all over the Quinjet floor. Still, he makes it, and as soon as his stomach is empty, he pops three pills in his mouth and swallows them dry (One, he made to help his torn muscles heal faster. Hulk might be unstoppable, but Bruce Banner isn't. Two are pain killers.) He shakes uncontrollably as he puts lotion on his hands, arms, and anywhere really, that he can reach without taking off his clothes. His skin is red and itchy. He looks at himself in the mirror. He looks worse than usual.

.

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes stand side by side in the back, both staring emotionlessly at the wall across from them. Their shoulders touch, and if they occasionally grab hands and squeeze, well, who could blame them. Bucky's metal hand convulses ever so slightly. He's twitchy, and every time the Quinjet shifts, he does too. He remembers the first time he flew back from a mission. This ride is smoother, but he feels the same inside. Steve still breathes hard, even after almost thirty minutes on the Quinjet. He watches the spot where a bullet grazed him slowly heal. It'll be gone in an hour. Sometimes he wishes that it wouldn't go away like that. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm his heart down. It doesn't work.

.

Natasha Romanoff stands quietly while Clint Barton gives her a full body check up. Two years ago, Natasha hid a gun wound from Clint until it got infected and he accidentally touched it and caused her to pull a knife on him. She is now forced to stand through a full check up after every mission. She only agreed if she can do the same. Natasha holds her arms out, and she instinctively moves her feet into first position. Her ballet training has never left her. Once she's given Clint a full lookover too, she sits curled up in her chair, typing rapidly on her phone. Clint takes both hearing aids out, wincing as he tears the scabs off with them. He sticks tissue in his ears and leans back, his hand on Natasha's knee. This is one of the few places that he allows him to let himself take a second to relax, when there's a guarantee that almost nothing can go wrong. Most nights, he sleeps with is hearing aids in, because what if someone needs him? His ears bleed almost every day.

.

Thor sits, head in hands, cross legged on the floor. He mumbles to himself about wars long gone by, where he fought alongside warriors of renown. He traces the carvings on Mjölnir and tries to remember the stories they represent. He can only remember the faces of those he just battled. He smells like the smell of rain just finished and smoking hair. When Bruce slips past him to get to his seat, Bruce gets shocked by static electricity. He looks alien, Thor does, sitting in a cape surrounded by the sleek silver of the Quinjet, which is perhaps fitting, seeing as he is one.

.

Peter Parker sits in one of the chairs, strapped in as tightly as he can get. He rubs his hands together and closes his eyes. With the quiet humming and smooth flying of the jet, he falls half asleep, fiddling with his mask the whole time. He's exhausted- he still does rounds around the city at night, plus he is a student, so he doesn't get much sleep at any time. It's worse than usual right now, with finals coming up. He sees faces of people he should have saved, and when Tony comes over and places a hand on his shoulder, Peter can't help the tears that leak out of his still closed eyes.

.

Once they get back to the tower, Tony stumbles upstairs to Pepper, who stands waiting with a glass of water and a medical kit. He sits on a stool and drinks the water Pepper gave him. She cleans the back of his head, where a permanent bald spot resides after one too many times of hitting the back of his helmet. It's bleeding again, and she puts antiseptic cream on it. She takes care of some spots on his hands and arms then hands him two Advil and sends him to bed. His chest aches and there's a slight rattle when he breathes. He rubs his hip, where there is a callus forming from how his suit rubs. He leans back against the headboard and tries to relax. His eyes can't close.

.

Maria goes straight for her rooms, walking fast and thinking even faster. It takes forever for her brain to slow down, and this time is no exception. She thinks about how this is only one HYDRA cell, and how there are so many others that still need to be taken out. She sits at her computer without even taking her shoes off and starts to type a mission report. She suddenly stops and her breath hitches. She looks down and sees her hands, blood still under her nails. She starts to sob.

.

The Avengers are far from perfect.

* * *

I lied. I have more A/N here. My view of the MCU was greatly inspired by Aggie2011's amazing Vantage Point Universe, which was really what got me fully into both the MCU and Clintasha, which ispossibly the best thing to happen to the MCU and the reason I have to throw out the MCU cannon. My love for Bucky and Steve was started by owlet's "This, You Protect" on Archive of Our Own. I read that story in like two nights. It's very good. Read it.

.

Also, if you're confused about what the mission is (sorry Eldest, I confused her at first) read on! Chapter 2 and a continuation of this story is posted too!


	2. Late Night Thoughts

This is very connected to Chapter one, so if you were wondering _what in the world happened_, this will explain.

TW: Child soldiers, general feelings of depression. If you think it might trigger you, don't read it. It's okay. I love you more for taking care of yourself.

Betaed by my favorite, EldestofFiveSisters15. She's awesome.

* * *

It's 3:42 in the morning. This is the side of the Avengers you don't see

.

On floor 33 of the Avengers tower, Maria types on her computer. It's the same words she's been repeating in her head for hours. _They were just kids, Nick. Kids._

.

On floor 34, Bucky and Steve sit side by side on the couch, close, but not touching, watching baseball.

.

On floor 35, Natasha and Clint lay in the middle of the floor holding hands. Natasha weeps.

.

On floor 36, Thor stares out the window. He's been there for hours, staring at the city slowly fall asleep.

.

On floor 37, Bruce sits in the lounge, a science magazine in his hands, long forgotten as he stares at a picture of a smiling little girl.

.

On Floor 38, Peter sits in front of his screen, still talking, even though MJ is asleep and has been for the past hour. He doesn't want to hang up. He doesn't think he can.

.

On floor 40, Tony stands over the bed, watching Pepper sleep. She slowly rolls over, and reaches out her arms. When he shakes his head, she gets out of bed, takes his hand, and leads him to the rug in the middle of the floor, already stocked with blankets and pillows.

.

It's the day after one of their missions. It was supposed to be simple, just taking down a HYDRA cell located in central Vermont. But even Maria couldn't predict that HYDRA would have so many children, so many children with guns, ready to fight. They didn't know going in that they'd have to kill them.

.

Maria sends the email. She knows it's unprofessional, but she sends it anyway. _Nick. The op in Vermont, the HYDRA cell? It was supposed to be an easy mission, we sent everyone out just so they could work on teambuilding. But the warehouse was full of kids. They were brainwashed. Over a hundred of them. We had to kill them all. They were just kids, Nick. Kids. And we killed them. I don't know how we're going to keep going, after this. I just don't know. _

_._

Bucky looks over at Steve, whose eyes are glazed. He knows that Steve is replaying the awful moment when he gave the command. _We've gotta do it._ He scoots a little closer to Steve and puts his hand on Steve's arm.

"Walk?" he asks.

"Can we?" Steve replies. They get their jackets and start their routine, walking miles to try to outrun the nightmares.

.

"One hundred twenty five," Natasha sobs. She rarely lets her control go this much, and it's all that Clint can do to hold her hand. "There were one hundred twenty five of them, Clint, and we killed every single one." It's only children that can break Natasha.

"Natenchka, darling," is all that Clint can say. "Natenchka, Natenchka, Natenchka." He holds her hand tighter, and when she rolls over, he wraps her in his arms. 27. The number plays in his head. 27 black fletched arrows. 27 children. He itches his ear. It comes away with blood. Fitting, he thinks, and he closes his eyes against the memories.

.

Thor takes a deep breath. It's late, he knows, but he calls Jane. She answers, and she's in her lab. When she sees his face, tears well in her eyes.

"You are not made of who you have killed," she says.

"At times, I feel that is all I am," Thor responds. Jane looks at him for a long time, and he at her. "I will come to you, Jane," he says, and the call ends. Thor goes to pack his bags. The air around him crackles.

.

Bruce can not move. He simply can't. He is rooted to this spot by the horrible memories in his brain and the fury that courses through his veins. It isn't _fair_ that they have to kill, to hurt, to _avenge_. It isn't fair that he has a monster inside of him. He looks down at the page, of the girl smiling, happy to be drinking her medicine, and he remembers the little girl he faced who looked just like her. He tears the page out and throws it on the ground, but it's not enough. He pops a painkiller in his mouth.

.

"Peter I'm sorry," MJ says, waking up with a start. Peter had just been talking about his favorite sandwich, one only Bucky could make, in attempts to forget that the afternoon before, he was killing kids barely younger than himself. He pauses and looks at her. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," she says. "Want me to come over?"

"It's okay, MJ," Peter says. "I'll see you at school tomorrow." He tries not to show her how tired he is.

"Lie down. Let me tell you a story," she says, and he falls asleep to her voice in his ears.

.

Pepper sings to Tony low under her breath, songs that her mother used to sing to her. She sings about sleeping bears and dancing cats and a lady who swallowed a fly. It's silly, she knows, but Tony starts to relax, until she gets to a song about a baby, and he tenses up in her arms.

"They could have been ours, Pep," he says, and his voice is so lacking of emotion that Pepper's eyes well up. "It could have been our kid."

"You did what you had to," she says.

"I am no hero," Tony growls. She puts her hand on his chest and feels the deep scar where the arc reactor was. Tony's chest rattles as he takes a breath.

.

The Avengers all have their own way of wasting the night, but they always come together that first horrible morning, after all the adrenaline of the day has passed, in the lounge kitchen. Steve and Bucky are always, always there first. Bucky cooks, Steve stands close behind, and when Bucky's left arm clenches a spoon a little too hard, Steve is there with a hand on his back, whispering to him.

Bruce is there soon after, taking a skillet and joining Bucky. Bucky makes the chocolate chip pancakes, Bruce the fruit ones.

It's a toss up, who will show up next, Natasha and Clint, or Pepper and Tony. Today, it's Natasha and Clint. Natasha has not a hair out of place, but she's allowing them all to see in her eyes: she has gone through hell. Clint wears a hat pulled low over his face.

Pepper and Tony come down, still in pajamas, Pepper with a robe. Tony pours himself some brandy, and Pepper doesn't protest, she just takes a sip when he offers it to her. They sit at the bar and converse quietly with Maria, who came up soon after them. Thor left as soon as it was light. Peter comes up not too much later, pouring himself a glass of juice and sitting on the counter. No one tries to get him down. Pepper folds her arms around his waist, and he hugs her tightly back.

"Pancakes," Bucky says, and it's not until Natasha murmurs quietly to him that he realizes he spoke in Russian. The words aren't that different, really, but it makes him feel like he's sliding backwards, losing some of the control he's had to fight for to be _himself_. He doesn't sit at the table like the rest of the Avengers. He sits in the corner of the room, behind an armchair, eating in silence. Steve joins him, sitting in the chair halfway through the meal, and they continue to eat in silence.

"Big day for Stark Industries," Tony says after they've eaten and cleaned up. "We're funding a children's center in Africa." He's too practiced to let his face crumple, but everyone sees it in his eyes. "Better go get ready. Briefed and all that." Pepper stands up, puts her hand on Tony's arm, and blinks slowly. "You'd think we were a bunch of zombies-" he starts, but he can't force the rest of the sentence. He puts his hand on Pepper's and closes his eyes. "I can't today," he says, and they walk out.

"It's worse than normal, isn't it?" Maria says. This comment, so small, makes everyone freeze. "Someone tell me it's not just me."

"It's not just you, Maria," Steve says in a way that makes Natasha shiver and Bruce pale.

"This is the part I hate," Clint says, his voice slightly thicker than usual. "The sitting and wondering if you could have done something else, if you could have saved more lives." Peter rubs his hands against his jeans and shakes his head. Steve walks over and puts a hand on the back of his neck and whispers too low for anyone else to hear. Peter shakes his head again.

Natasha stares at the wall, and her shoulders shake slightly. "I should have known."

"It's time for some rest," Bruce says. He puts his hand close, but not quite touching, near Natahsa's arm. It's a commonly known fact in the tower that you never touch a Russian spy feeling high emotion unless you are extremely stupid or are asked to. Luckily both Clint and Steve tend to run on the side of extremely stupid. "Go on."

Everyone retreats back to their rooms.

.

On floor 17, Bruce sits at a lab table, inputting data. He doesn't know what else to do with himself. His apartment seems too empty. His stomach rolls, even though he hasn't eaten anything for the last 24 hours. He puts some balm on his hands and keeps working.

.

On floor 33 of the Avengers tower, Maria watches a movie. It's an old comedy, one she loves and only breaks out on special occasions. She watches with dull eyes. She has no more tears.

.

On floor 34, Bucky and Steve lie on the floor and couch respectively, talking quietly about anything they can think of: Bucky's newest cookie recipe, Steve's determination about the Mets winning the World Series, the coffee place they both remember from Brooklyn, anything. Bucky trips up on his words, speaking English and Russian in the same sentence.

.

On floor 35, Natasha and Clint sit side by side on the balcony, wrapped in a giant green blanket, watching the city. They exchange quiet words, if something comes to mind. They mostly sit in silence. Natasha cries.

.

On floor 36, all is quiet. Thor doesn't plan on returning unless the Avengers need him.

.

On floor 38, Peter sits in his room. He didn't make it to school. He's too tired, and Tony made the executive decision to call him in sick. He kind of wishes he was at school, because his rooms echo sounds only he can hear.

.

On floor 40, Tony stands and watches Pepper get ready. She has her dress on and her hair done, but every time she tries to put on makeup, she starts to cry. Tony at least has his tinted glasses; hopefully, he thinks, that will be enough to hide his emotion.

.

You never see that heroes are broken too.

* * *

More is written, and it will be coming. I'd love it if you left me a little review, especially if you have a side to the Avengers you want explored.


	3. Empty Days

Heyyy! A/N at the end, but here's chapter 3!

Betaed by the amazing EldestofFiveSisters15. Many thanks to her.

As always, I own nothing. Thanks, Marvel.

* * *

Sometimes, the Avengers go for weeks without being all together. It's been almost three weeks since that breakfast, and since then, Tony has seem only Bruce in the lab. A couple days after the mission, Natasha and Clint were deployed to somewhere they didn't share, and Maria went on a trip to meet Fury somewhere deep in the Floridian Everglades. Steve and Bucky are rarely seen. Bucky still hasn't adjusted to life in the modern world, and he needs a lot of time to process. Tony learned that the hard way.

Sometimes it bothers Tony that he doesn't see his team for so long, that they live only floors apart but can avoid each other so completely, but he always shakes it off. Sometimes, heroes need their space.

.

On Bruce's part, he sees Tony almost every day. They often work quietly, side by side, for hours. Other days they bounce ideas off of each other, laughing and chattering.

Bruce fills the rest of his days with science and cooking. Since moving to the Avengers tower, he's started cooking again, recipes from his family restaurant. Natasha walks out of her and Clint's door sometimes to almost step into a container of steaming fried chicken, and one time, Thor actually squashed some pie. Still, they all appreciate it, and Bruce gets a variety of gifts outside his door (Baked goods from Buckey and Steve, Chocolate from Natasha and Clint, Books from Maria, more supplies from Pepper and Tony, and misguided but earnestly given alcohol from Thor, when he is home).

He decided long ago to not get lonely. It doesn't always work.

.

Natasha and Clint are the only Avengers who get sent out regularly on missions, so they're not home that often. When they are, they have an uncanny gift to avoid everyone else. Still, where there's one assassin, there's the other, and it's almost a game for the rest of the Avengers, if only one of the two is spotted, to find the other. Natasha and Clint move around the tower at odd hours, trying to avoid Tony's chatter or Bruce's woeful looks. Only Maria and Pepper, and occasionally Bucky, will Natasha seek out. Clint stays by himself.

"It's too hard to pretend around people I care about, and I can't be around people without pretending" Natasha told them all one time. She left after that and wasn't seen by even Clint for two days.

On Clint's part, he simply says "I see too much. Don't wanna see any more." It is unclear whether it is things he sees in the Avengers or things he sees in his mind. Tony suspects it is the latter.

.

Maria travels often, keeping a remnant of SHIELD active under the radar. She is Fury's mouthpiece, but many of the decisions she makes are her own. She spends long nights alone, trying to switch her brain back into normal human mode, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she helps keep the world safe. She doesn't mind the silence, most of the time, but when she does, there is always some Avenger or the other who minds it too. She sees the rest of the team the most.

.

Only half of Peter's time is spent in the Avengers Tower. He still goes to school, though he doesn't always want to, and he spends the other half of his days at his Aunt's house or with Ned and MJ. Sometimes, they all go to the tower, though on those days, the Tower seems emptier than normal. Peter works with Bruce and Tony when he is in the Tower, and he trains with Natasha. He's used to the feeling of not really fitting in, and as the only kid in the tower, that's exactly what happens. He accepts it without comment.

.

Bucky and Steve rarely see anyone except for Natasha, and that's fine with them. It's been eight months since Bucky came to live with the Avengers, and it's taken a lot of adjusting. He spends a lot of time lying in the middle of the rug. Steve spends a lot of time sitting in his armchair, and they talk about things they remember and things Bucky has questions about. They both have little notebooks that they take turns exchanging notes from. They need the time.

.

Thor spends most of his time with Jane, but when he's in the Avengers tower, he's what draws them all together. It's the same this time. Thor has returned from visiting Jane, and so he has JARVIS gather everyone in the common room for dinner.

It's always quiet at first when they meet again. Natasha stands near to Bucky, and they talk quietly in Russian. After a while, both of their faces start to lighten, and Natasha actually smiles.

"When are you going to come down to the lab, Hill?" Tony doesn't have alcohol, Maria notes, simply water.

She arches an eyebrow. "When you have something interesting for me," she replies.

"How does Kevlar that can fit under your dress sound?" Tony asks.

Hill smiles slowly. "That is worth coming to the lab."

They order takeout, and Steve and Peter get on the Wii, with Tony trash talking them both. Thor and Maria settle into conversation, and Bucky, Natasha, and Pepper start debating with Bruce about the pros and cons of cooking with peanut oil. Bucky hates it, and so does Bruce, but the ladies are in disagreement. It's only when the food arrives that everyone notices someone is missing.

"Where is the Man with the Eyes of Hawk?" Thor asks after the food comes.

"I'll take food to him," Peter says. "He's upstairs."

Clint is not actually upstairs, just in one of the perches that Tony had made him. After one too many time of Clint climbing somewhere he shouldn't have gone and ruining something, Tony had platforms built in all of the common rooms so that Clint could climb up when he needed to get away. (In a similar way, there are pillows in the corners for Bucky and a lot of green blankets lying around for Natasha. They all have their little quirks, and Tony caters to all of them. He is kind like that.

"We only got back two days ago." Natasha says.

Peter goes to the corner where Clint sits. He's the only one beside's Natasha who's allowed up the perch, let alone near it. Clint drops the rope ladder down, but Peter climbs up the wall, one hand keeping the pizza steady. He hands it to Clint, says something in too low of a voice for even Steve and Bucky and their advanced hearing to hear, then climbs back down.

"Is it a bad day for you too, Lady of the Black Spider?" Thor asks.

Natasha looks up and simply smiles. "I have no bad days, Thor, son of Odin," she replies.

No one fights that.

The Avengers spend a quiet night watching movies (The Bridge to Terabithia, ET, and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas), and by the time the last one is over, most of them are asleep. Thor is knocked out on one of the couches, Bucky lays on Steve's knees, and Steve has his head propped up on his hand. Peter is curled up on the floor, a blanket over him and a pillow tucked under his head. Maria and Bruce both left before the last movie is over. Natasha is asleep up on Clint's platform. Only Tony, Pepper, and Clint are awake.

"We're headed to bed," Pepper tells Clint. She can see his legs hanging over the edge, though he lies back.

"Sorry I couldn't join you all tonight," Clint says. "I love ET."

"It's okay, Bird Boy," Tony says. "Some things take time to come down from."

"SHIELD sends Tasha and I on the worst missions," Clint says softly. "Because we're good at what we do. But sometimes it's pretty crappy."

"Welcome to life with the Avengers, bud," Tony says, grabbing Pepper's hand and raising it in victory. "Life is pretty crappy."

"It's nice to have us all together though, sometimes," Clint replies after a moment. "Reminds me that other people get it."

"We'll be here for you, Barton," Natasha mumbles. "All of us. Always."

The Avengers sometimes don't see each other, but when they do, they're reminded that it's nice to be with other people that get it.

* * *

End of chapter 3.

Thank you to the lovely LoverOfThings, juliacoolia, and Fenixfyrh for reviewing the last two chapters. Hint hint I like reviews because it tells me what you guys like.

Also, the next update is coming, but IDK when, because all the next ideas are very much in progress. Hopefully within the week?


	4. This cookie I like it

Okay so this was going to be the fifth chapter, but I decided to give you guys a break from all the tears, plus what I wanted to do as chapter 4 is kind of hitting a wall. This is a lot more light hearted, so hopefully it won't make you sad. I had fun writing this, and hopefully you have fun reading it.

EldestofFiveSisters15 betaed for me, and I'm very thankful.

Also, I own nothingggg!

* * *

There's a side to the Avengers you don't see. It's Saturday evening, and they're all gathered in the common lounge, and they're laughing.

Three of them are having a competition— Maria is making the appetizer, Bruce the main course, and Bucky the desert. There's a lot of trash talk going on, and it's a welcome respite from the angst, stress and overall sadness that usually fills the tower.

"If you want me to be able to remember any of the dishes, you're going to have to hurry it up," Tony says. "This wine is superb, and I'm guessing your food won't be." He leans over and tries to snag some of what Maria is making. Pepper pulls him back and kisses him to shut him up.

Clint's ears are a bit too raw to have his hearing aids in, so he squints in confusion at Tony. "Foosball team? I'll join that. Tasha, you can be the goalie." He takes a swig of his beer.

Peter, who's been mostly quiet and has been looking at his phone, spits some lemonade across the counter. (He doesn't get alcohol, seeing as he's underage. Lemonade is his poison.)

"_Food won't be_," Natasha says and signs. She tosses a rag to Peter, who cleans up the lemonade as he laughs. "He said the wine is good but the food won't be." Bruce ducks his head to hide his smile, but it doesn't escape Tony, who shoots him a glare before turning to Clint.

"I will gladly take a foosball team though," Tony says, looking straight at Clint. "I get Metal Arm though." Bucky doesn't look up from his and Steve's game of checkers, but a spare piece flies right over Tony's head.

"We're doing a food _tournament at the moment_," Maria declares, and everyone knows her word is law. She starts plating her appetizer. "Whenever we can get everyone in the house for more than thirty minutes, then we'll do a _game_."

"I do not know this game," Thor says. Having broken a wine glass within ten seconds of having it, Thor had been given a plastic cup of wine. He swirls it like he saw Natasha do, and she smiles slightly at the sight.

"Basically, a bunch of tiny sticks on a bigger stick hit a ball around," Bruce tells him. "It's not that exciting." Bruce doesn't have any wine, because alcohol does sketchy things to the Hulk. He drinks lemonade too.

"Hey, I love foosball!" Peter exclaims. "I used to play it all the time." Clint takes Peter's phone out of his hand and tosses it toward Bucky and Steve.

"Barnes is good at foosball," Natasha says, which immediately stops the tossing of Peter's phone. Peter snaches it out of Steve's hand, since Steve is occupied with staring Natasha down. "He beat the crap out of Captain Cheater here in the thirties." No one plays cards or any other sort of game with Steve. He's notorious for cheating.

"You should not know that," Steve says. "How do you know about that? The only place I wrote about it was– you didn't look at my journal, did you?" Bucky snorts.

Natasha arches an eyebrow and sips her wine. It's mainly for effect— she won't even have drunk half of it by the end of the night, though she does enjoy it— but it's enough to say "I'm not telling you." (For a moment, Steve wonders what Natasha would be like drunk, and he swiftly decides that is not something he wants to entertain.)

"That's like half your daily word quota. Better be careful, Romanoff," Tony says. Natasha shoots him a glare. Just because she doesn't normally talk doesn't mean that she can't. She almost tells him that, but she sticks to flicking a toothpick at him and hitting him in the ear.

"Hurry up with that food, Hill, I'm hungry." Clint leans over the counter, watching Hill place her appetizer on the plates. Peter leans over too and tries to snag one of the plates. Maria hits him with her spatula.

"You can't rush greatness," she says.

"Greatness my foot, there is no way to make tiny hamburgers better than my mom's pot pie," Bruce says. He mixes what looks slightly like wet dog food in a large bowl.

That starts a conversation about the merits of hamburgers versus hot dogs, and when everyone gets their burgers, they decide unanimously that hamburgers take the cake.

"Pot pie is like eating dog barf," Bucky grumbles, mostly to himself.

"Your mom's pot pie wasn't that bad," Steve says absently, caught up in the task of flicking the cap of his beer at his friend. "If she had chicken, that is."

"Which she never did," Bucky snorted. "Therefore, the food was trash."

"It's vegetarian," Bruce says. "So there's no chicken."

"Bird food!" Tony exclaims, rolling his eyes. "Pep, remind me why we invited everyone to live here? They give us tiny burgers and bird food and expect us to be happy."

"Your idea, love," Pepper says, handing Maria a glass of wine. "Don't make fun of Bruce."

"Yeah, don't make fun of Bruce," Bruce says, crimping the edges of the last of the pot pie. He slides it into the oven.

Peter somehow manages to get Clint and Natasha talking about the crazy things they had done together while they're waiting, and their stories keep Peter andSteve doubled over laughing, especially when Thor asks Clint to explain what Natasha meant when she said that Clint makes a pretty convincing lover. Bruce, Tony, and Pepper start discussing pros and cons of taking contract work for SHIELD. Maria talks at Bucky about a party she had gone to. Bucky isn't listening-– he is somewhat trapped in his own head – but it is kind of Maria to try anyway.

Bruce's pot pie gets a resounding yes from everyone.

"Bucky apologizes for his previous statements," Steve says, patting his friend on the shoulder. "This is _excellent._"

"Bucky can speak for himself," Bucky mutters, but he doesn't disagree.

"Healer Banner, this pie is most amazing!" Thor has eaten a whole pot pie by himself. "It is much more satisfying than Lady Maria's tasty yet small meat sandwich."

"Thank you, Thor," Bruce says. He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. "Take that, Lady Maria." Maria rolls her eyes and says nothing. Peter, who has also eaten an entire pot pie ("The child is like a never ending hole," May often says in despair) is laid out on the floor, smiling slightly.

"Mr. Banner, that was amazing." He rubs his stomach. "I haven't felt so full in ages."

"You ate an entire nine inch pot pie," Natasha says with a small laugh. "Of course you are full." She doesn't eat much, even on the best of days, but the half of a slice she had, she enjoyed. She shoots Banner an appreciative look, and he nods at her.

Bucky stands at the counter, folding caramels into cookie dough. "Steve ate an entire pizza last night. It was _supposed_ to be for both of us, and he ate it before I got home." He glares at Steve, who shrugs.

"I eat a lot after missions," he offers. Bucky glares harder.

"The cookies will be ready in ten minutes," Bucky says, and he sits behind his favorite chair. Tony, who is sitting in said chair, tosses an extra pillow back to him. Bucky kicks the back of the chair in thanks.

"How is MJ, Peter?" Natasha asks when Clint signs a question to her.

_I am not asking him how it's going down,_ she signs back at Clint with a glare. Peter covers his face with his hand so that he can pretend that he didn't take ASL classes in middle school and that he didn't just see something about "going down".

_Ask him if he's making any moves,_ he signs with a wicked grin. Natasha spits something nasty in what must be Russian at him, and he smiles even wider. Not that Peter would know, because he has a pillow over his face.

"Let's talk about something else," Steve says, ever diplomatic.

Bucky chucks a pillow at him from behind the chair and hits him square in the back of the head. "I like the gossip," Bucky says.

"I don't think your mom would approve of that mouth," Maria says mildly when Steve has finished telling Bucky off. Steve smiles his Captain America smile at her, and she only sighs.

"I thought that Captain America was a good person," Peter says into the pillow. "_Be like Captain America,_ they say. They don't tell you that he has a worse mouth than a sailor." It's not the first time he's heard Captain America's soldier side come out, but it surprises him every time. ("I'm a _good kid,_ Mr. Rogers," he said. "I don't think I want to hear those words.")

Clint smiles widely. Natasha has relayed this whole conversation to him, and he borders on looking gleeful. "You tell him, Old Faithful," he says.

"Cookies," Bucky says before anyone else gets on Captain America's bad side.

Bucky hands out the cookies, and the Avengers hold them almost with reverence. Bucky has garnered a reputation for baking, and though it was supposedly a competition, Bruce and Maria entered the competition knowing that they were going to lose.

"Caramel filled snickerdoodles," Bucky says, and shoves half the cookie in his mouth at once.

Thor is the one to declare the winner. "This cookie, I like it. Another!"

You never see that the Avengers can have a normal night too.

* * *

Thanks to LoverOfThings and juliacoolia for reviewing. I think I'll keep you two. (juliacoolia, "It's science, Tony!" is definitely going to be in a chapter.)

A review would mean a lot to me sooo… you know, if you have five seconds, I'd love a little note.

PS the cookie recipe is real! My friend and I made them. They're super sweet but really good. It's here: caramel-stuffed-snickerdoodle-cookies/


	5. A Bad Day

Heyyy! A/N at the end!

EldestofFiveSisters15 was my fabulous beta, and she was very helpful as usual. I give her many cookies.

As always, I own nothing. Marvel is both genius and annoying.

Natasha is having a bad day. Her usual nightmares ended with her screaming and Clint sitting on her to keep her from hurting him or herself. She was up with no hope of sleeping at 4:34 AM. Normally, she's awake even earlier, but in the past few days, she's barely had two hours of sleep in a row, and that takes a toll on anyone.

Natasha sits on the balcony, a cup of green tea in her hand, replaying memory after awful memory. She remembers seeing her parents covered in red, but not knowing what it meant. She remembers the first time a Red Room girl hit her, three days after she arrived. She remembers the times when she was punished by the teachers (conditioning, verbal, or physical punishment were the favorites), the first time she shot a gun at a live target- one of her only friends, Katerina. Natasha remembers graduating, and she remembers every face she ever had to target. Natasha remembers the feeling of blood on her hands, the feeling of a neck snapping between her legs, the look in the eyes of the men she has killed. She shakes, not from the cold, but from her own mind.

Bucky makes it clear that he's coming out, banging his metal arm on the doorframe as he slips through the door.

"Romanova?" he asks, and Natasha looks up at him. "Inside."

"I don't take orders, Barnes," she replies, but she stands up anyway and pushes past him. Clint is waiting inside holding a steaming plate of muffins and looking rather disgruntled. It makes Natahsa's day a little bit better to see Clint's face like that.

"He just shoved me out of the way," Clint says, putting the muffins on the table like they might hold a bomb, which he wouldn't put past Bucky to spice up the day. "I couldn't stop him."

"I'm having a bad day, not _dying_," Natasha says, because the muffins are apple cinnamon, and Bucky only breaks those out when something really bad happened, like the Mets losing or Bruce hulking out in the middle of a boating adventure (Maria nearly _murdered_ that day, and Peter nearly died laughing after he was convinced to get out of a tree). Still, she takes one and rolls it around in her hands.

"Clint sounded kind of frantic," Bucky says with a shrug. Natasha looks at Clint and raises an eyebrow.

"And I quote," Clint grumbles, "_Come up, Barnes. Widow's sad_." Natasha's eyes get a little lighter at that, but she still looks like someone just ran her over with a tank. Cint tells her as much, and she glares at him.

"You need to start moving, Romanova," Bucky says.

"I'm going out," Natasha replies. She tosses the muffin at Clint, drops her blanket on the couch, and moves toward the door.

Natahsa knows that they'll follow her, because there's no way that either of them is going to stop pestering her on a day when she feels as crappy as she does today. She's right, Clint, looking worried, and Bucky, looking mad, trail her to the Avengers-only gym. Clint is up the climbing wall in 0.3 seconds so he can watch Natasha. She wordlessly goes to the target range, takes three knives out from who knows where and starts throwing them.

She hits the third ring all three times. Bucky blinks but joins her, sliding knives out of his own clothing. They throw and throw and throw until Natasha abruptly stops and rests her hand on her hip.

"Knife throwing was always my least favorite," she says, and Bucky just looks at her. "I was never that good at it. Espionage, I can do. Fighting, I can do. Knife throwing, not so much."

Natasha sounds so un-Natasha like that Bucky actually moves around to look her in the face. She sighs and rubs her eyes. "I haven't gotten much sleep," she says. Bucky raises an eyebrow and throws a knife without looking. It hits the center of the target. Natasha rolls her eyes. Bucky is insufferable when he wants to make a point, and he's trying to make one now:_ Cheer up. You're pathetic._

Natahsa moves away from the throwing range to one of the sparring mats. Clint drops down in front of her (to her credit, she doesn't blink, she just continues to untie her shoes). There's a pounding in her head of names and faces and things that she's done, and it's almost louder than Clint's voice.

"Sparring?" he asks, and when she doesn't respond, he grabs her shoulders so she has to look him in the eyes. "Hey. Focus."

"I'll stretch for a while," she says. "Then yes."

Bucky watches as Natasha and Clint go into a familiar stretching routine. Natasha is much more limber than Clint, but he does the same stretches as her with a minimal amount of grimacing. Bucky decides he was not needed after all, and slips out. He hopes his apple cinnamon muffins don't get wasted.

Natasha barely notices Bucky leave, she's in such of a fog. She _hates it_, because she's been working for so long to be _okay_, and one op sends her spiralling down a hole.

It's not until Clint touches her shoulder that she realizes that she's been talking aloud. "Let's not spar today, Tash," he says. She looks at him, and she looks so much like she did when he brought her in that he almost breaks down himself. It's a testament of how much they trust each other when he lets her see all his emotions run through his eyes. "Let's just stretch."

Clint and Natasha go up to the lounge after they've finished stretching (Clint called it off when Natasha started reciting names that he recognized to be on her past hit list). Most of the Avengers are already there. Tony and Pepper are in work clothes, obviously on their way out ("Tony, meetings with CEOs _are _important you know"). Steve and Bruce are at the stove, standing over something that smells like eggs with lots of spices.

"Egg scramble?" Steve asks. "Nat, Barton?"

"I will gladly take one," Clint says. "Tasha?" He shakes her hand, which he has clasped tightly in his, and she blinks.

"Looking a little sloppy there, Romanoff," Tony says, tossing an apple at her. "What happened? You miss a target during training?" Bucky, who materializes suddenly in front of her, captures the apple from midair before it can hit a distracted Natasha.

Natasha takes a deep breath and tries to stop the tears she already feels rolling traitorously down her cheeks. She thinks belatedly that she must trust these people, somewhere deep inside, since the last time she cried before anyone but Clint was when she was three and in the Red Room. No one in the kitchen moves for a long second. Bruce finally has the presence of mind to move the eggs off the heat, but everyone else just stares.

"Tony," Pepper finally hisses. "When will you learn to hold your tongue like a normal human being?"

"Sorry Romanoff," Tony says before pulling Pepper out of the room.

Clint is the next one to move. In two big steps, he is by Natasha's side, and a second later, he has her wrapped in his arms. "Natenchka," he says into her hair. "You are not made of who you kill." It's a phrase heard a lot in the Avengers tower, though very few believe it.

"I am," Natasha says, smiling and pushing Clint's arms away. I am made to be worth who I kill. That's my job." She takes a deep breath. "Get off of me. I'm fine." She pushes him off, combs her hair into a ponytail, and wipes her eyes with the edge of her shirt.

"Did you know that there's a fish that con regulate it's own body temperature?" Bruce asks. Everyone looks at him with varying degrees of confusion. He shrugs. "Awkward moment. Needed to dispel it."

"I'll take some eggs," Bucky said. "Unless Steve cooked them. In that case, I'll pass." He hits Natasha on the back of the head, which is probably supposed to be comforting but is mainly annoying. She glares at him and

"I cooked," Bruce says. They eat standing around in the kitchen. Silence hangs heavy in the air; it's Peter's weekend with his aunt, and he is the usual conversation point, especially when someone is having a bad day.

Natasha disappears for the rest of the day. Even Clint can't find her, though it's not from lack of trying, because she goes to the one place no one thought to look, the roof ("I _hate_ heights, Clint, I only do it for you.") She sits cross legged in the middle of the roof and tries to clear her mind. The things that she's done and the things that she's seen stay in her head always, but some days are worse than others. Some days, like this one, are living hell.

Natasha tries as hard as she can to clear her mind, to breathe and push out her bad thoughts, but all she does is send herself to sleep. The memories stay with her. She relives her Red Room days, and every time she hits someone, she wakes up gasping.

She wakes up a lot.

Finally, she wakes up to find Steve standing in the doorway, looking down sadly at her. The sun has nearly set, and she realizes that sitting outside in New York in November may not have been the best idea.

"It's almost time to eat, Romanoff. Let's go eat. We're ordering Mediterranian." He hands her his jacket.

"I'm not hungry." Natasha pulls it on and gathers it around her. "How'd you know I was here?" She takes his hand and lets him pull her up.

"A lucky guess." Steve pauses, then gives her his Captain America grin when she fixes him in her glare. "JARVIS is also a helpful tool." She shakes her head at him. They ride down to Natasha's floor in comfortable silence– Steve is one of three of the Avengers that Natasha trusts fully with her back (the other two are Clint and Peter. Clint for obvious reasons, and Peter because when she was supposed to be saving him, he saved her.) She leans back against the elevator wall and takes a deep breath.

Steve steers Natasha by the elbow, and she doesn't even have the urge to break his arm. "Take a warm shower and then come up to eat. That's an order, Romanoff." Steve stops outside of her door and waits for her to look him in the eye, nod, and go inside. Natasha finds Clint sitting at the table, typing.

He looks up when she comes in and smiles at her. She thinks (and he sees in her eyes) _This day has gone on far too long. _"We're meeting at six thirty," he says. "Thirty minutes, okay? I ran you a bath."

"Okay." Natasha goes to the bath, which as promised, is running as hot as the tap can go and has both a bath bomb and bubble bath in it. Natahsa shakes her head and sinks into the water, letting it lap over her and calm her thoughts for just a moment. When she comes back out to the living area, she's wearing Clint's t-shirt (soft and smells good, and she usually does the laundry, so if some of his shirts get stolen, it can't be her fault), Bruce's socks (he has the thickest knitted ones from who knows where, except she does know. He knits them himself), Steve's jacket (just the right size of large to swallow her comfortably), Tony's sweatpants (they're really fuzzy inside, plus it annoys him), and one of Bucky's beanies (warmer than usual, for some reason) on her head.

"Nice, Tash," Clint says says, rolling his eyes. He's seen Natasha often in his shirts or Bucky and Steve's jackets, but never in that many stolen items.

"Are those my socks?" Bruce asks when he sees Natasha. He sounds slightly afraid as he hands her a glass of lime water.

"I think it's a dominance thing," Bucky says. He tosses Natasha a muffin, and she catches it with a slow smile somewhat reminiscent of a cat seeing a mouse.

"I think it's working," Tony says, looking her up and down.

Natasha is having a bad day. On a scale of bad days, it's near the top. She is followed by a group of ghosts with chains, weighing down her every step. Still, the other Avengers show her that even on her worst days, they are there.

Tony tosses her one of the deep green blankets he keeps scattered around. Bucky makes sure that she has a cup of water by her side at all times. Bruce orders her favorite kebabs, and Pepper and Clint sit close by, carrying on a conversation that Natasha can listen to easily. Steve hovers in the background and whenever Natasha needs anything, he gets it for her. Without saying anything, the Avengers tell her they love her. Perhaps, Natasha thinks, suffering isn't as bad as she thinks.

End of chapter 5.

Much love to I.D.'s Fantasy, juliacoolia, and MadCrazyChloe, and LoverOfThings You all get a caramel snickerdoodle because you're just that great.

It was much more than a week, which is what I said last time. Ahem. But I do have quite a few chapters in the works, so cross your fingers.


	6. A Night In the Quinjet

**My horizontal lines keep messing up, so I'm doing the note in bold. **

**I don't own anything, need I say more? **

**A/N at the end!**

No one wants to be in the middle of a forest in Canada, yet there they are. Tony and Clint haven't tried everything, but it has gotten too dark and cold to work outside in the middle of a forest in January, and so the Quinjet stays stubbornly on the ground.

"All that we could do is rewire it so that we could have power all night," Tony says, tapping his wrist so that his suit floats back to the storage space. Clint presses a button and closes the bay door of the Quinjet.

"We're camping in the middle of hostile territory in a broken Quinjet?" Peter asks. He pulls at the neckline of his suit "I have school tomorrow. I can't be stuck here."

"Surprise, you're sick," Tony says. He starts rummaging in a cabinet. Peter rolls his eyes and starts peeling off his suit. Natasha throws him a sweatshirt that smells rather like cinnamon (her) and leather (Clint).

"The food's all out, Tony," Bruce says. He had been running the op from the Quinjet, so he didn't hulk out, but he still feels the post-operative stress. He pops a pill in his mouth and swallows it dry.

"I hate the food we keep on the jets," Tony says. He lets himself down onto the floor with a groan and opens his granola bar. Peter sits down beside him and shovels a MRE into his mouth as fast as he can. Peter's presence at Tony's side is slightly comforting; just knowing that there's something to keep safe helps Tony not to explode. Then Bucky appears, hovering over him, and hands Tony a squished Starburst that he pulled out of some pocket. Tony pops it in his mouth with a grin. He hates orange, and Bucky knows it. Still, that's what he got, and he eats it.

Natasha and Clint stand in the corner. Clint's post-op rundown (Tony only noticed it happened a couple of months ago and tries not to make it too obvious that he knows) was quick–Clint stayed outside the HYDRA compound with his bow and scope, and didn't even get to fire one arrow. Natasha's rundown is not.

"Romanoff, you have a bullet sticking out of your vest," Clint hisses to her. He knows the possibly of murder would exponentialy increase if he brought attention to any of her injuries. She gives him a look that works the same as a shrug. "You better not have a bullet sticking out of anywhere else." She lets him undo her Kevlar and press his hands into her sides.

"That's a cracked rib you're pressing your hands on, Barton," she snaps, her voice barely above a breath. It's only an extreme amount of self control that keeps Clint from pressing harder. He grins at her, and she glares.

"Close your eyes, boys," Natasha says to the general jet, "I'm stripping." (Pain and tiredness make Natasha a little loose, and sometimes she lets strange things come out of her mouth.) Of course, that brings everyone but Bruce's eyes to her as Clint peeled her tight undershirt off of her to reveal a mess of already bruised abdomen.

"Sorry Aunt Nat," Peter says, looking away as fast as he can. Surprisingly, Tony too turns around, and Bruce preoccupies himself with heating up some water, so it's only Steve and Bucky who watch Clint wrap Natasha's ribs in white tape. She hisses something in Russian at Clint as he wraps, and he says something pacifying back. Steve throws Clint a sweatshirt from his locker, and Clint slips it over Natasha's head (it smells like metal and aftershave, and Natasha doesn't plan on giving it back for a while, she decides).

"I'm _fine,_" Natasha says to Clint, but he continues his pat down. Once he's satisfied, he pulls a small pouch out of Natasha's locker and tosses it to her, pulling a similar one out of his. Natasha rummages around in the bag and throws a candy bar at Peter (Steve notices that Natasha only uses her elbow and wrist to throw, making him think that more than a couple of ribs are cracked.) It's smart of the assassins to keep their own food on the plane–it keeps them from eating year old MREs or granola bars that have practically solidified. Natasha pulls out peanut butter and some crackers and Clint a gatorade and a Snickers.

"Did someone let the tower know?" Steve asks. He's changed out of his uniform, but he still has his shield, and he fiddles with the buckles on the back, clicking them in and out. Bucky glares at him and throws a plastic spoon at his head. Steve lets it bounce off of his forehead, but he stops clicking the buckles. He moves on to the zipper on his jacket, which Bucky seems to consider more acceptable, because he just rolls his eyes.

"I did," Bruce says. "Maria said she doesn't care as long as we get back in time for the press conference." Clint groans very audibly. Even Steve looks pained. No one likes press conferences. Saving the world isn't as glamorous as one might think, as is evident by the superheroes currently sitting on the floor of a dark jet.

"I'm going to sleep," Tony says after a moment of silence. "I'm wiped." He won't really go to sleep, everyone knows, but he moves up to the cockpit anyway. Peter is leaning against one of the Quinjet seats, already asleep.

"Oh kid," Steve mutters, picking Peter up and putting him across three of the seats. Bucky tosses a blanket over him, and Steve tucks a sweatshirt under Peter's head to work as a pillow. Clint and Natasha give each other a long look in which they apparently have a discussion, because Natasha stretches out on the floor, her head pillowed in Clint's lap. He starts running a hand through her hair, the other one holding a book, and it's so domestic and seems so familiar to the two of them that Bruce finds himself staring for a long time until Natasha and Clint look at him as one.

"You're being creepy," Clint says, a smile hiding somewhere in his dark eyes. Natasha smiles slightly, though there's strain, and closes her eyes again. Bruce goes up to the cockpit (the chairs are comfier up there,) and finds Tony texting Pepper (Bruce looks unabashedly to see who it is, though he already knew). Bruce settles down and closes his eyes; he didn't sleep much last night, and the op was stressful to manage, so he's exhausted.

Besides Peter and Bruce, it takes everyone else a while to settle down. Natasha doesn't sleep– she and Clint talk quietly to each other in French, Steve thinks. Why French, he does not know (it is to practice, he later figures out), but he watches them out of the corner of his eye. Bucky and Steve sit side by side, barely making a noise. The two of them are used to this, long nights in strange places, silently keeping each other company. When Bucky's eyes grow wide and his breathing speeds up, Steve knows to pat his knee and put Bucky's hand on his stomach so Bucky can feel the rate of Steve's breath. And when Steve starts to grind his teeth and his hands clench, Bucky knows just how to calm Steve down from whatever thought is haunting him. He puts a hand on Steve's shoulder and squeezes until Steve smiles at him.

Natasha and Clint watch as everyone falls asleep.

"You rest first," Natasha says quietly, still in French. Clint keeps playing with her hair. "I don't want to sleep yet."

"Ribs bothering you?" Clint asks. Natasha nods. "Okay. Wake me up later." Clint lays down too, careful to keep Natasha's head in his lap and is asleep immediately. She rolls her eyes and mumbles to herself about how he's going to get killed someday because of how fast he falls asleep, but she grabs his hand and puts it on her stomach so he's almost hugging her.

Eventually, lying down on the Quinjet floor proves to be too much for Natasha's busted ribs (someone's going to give her grief for that, she knows), so she shifts into a chair, using Clint's stomach as a footrest. Bucky wakes up with a start when her hand hits the armrest slightly harder than she meant, but when he sees her face, illuminated by her screen, he nods once to her, and she nods back. He goes back to sleep.

Tony shifts around in the cockpit (Natasha knows it's him because when something falls, there's a muttered curse word, and Bruce only curses in Hindi because "No one understands it but you, so I feel less bad about corrupting Peter and Thor." Natasha decided not to tell him that Maria and Bucky both knew Hindi too.) Natasha knows Tony probably won't sleep because he rarely sleeps if Pepper isn't there. (It would take a miracle to get Bruce awake. His alarm is Metallica, and it only works half the time.)

Peter wakes up sometime in the middle of the night, when Natasha has turned her phone off but not quite gotten to the point of needing to sleep. He hears her shift in her chair, and he comes to sit by her.

"What's up?" she asks him, whispering into his ear. "It's late. You should sleep."

"I'm good," Peter whispers back. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I don't sleep, Peter," Natasha says, squeezing his knee. Peter pulls his legs up on the chair and slouches down so his head is resting on Natasha's shoulder. She reaches up and pets his hair a little.

"Aunt Nat," he says after a while. "You know what bothers me sometimes? Everyone treats me like a kid. I'm almost eighteen. I'm not a baby. I don't know, I was just thinking and-"

"I know," Natasha says, smiling into the darkness. "But when I was your age, I had already been active for five years. I've been working since you were in diapers. Steve and Bucky have lived through _wars_, Clint's seen unimaginable things, Tony's built himself an empire, Bruce could save us from anything if he was given a big enough lab, Maria is in charge of protecting our entire world, and Thor protects multiple. I know you're not a kid, but we've just done a bit more." She poked his chin. "Plus you still have to do homework, and the rest of us have talked Maria out of doing homework."

Natasha can feel Peter frown against her shoulder. "Yeah, but what do I have to do to make them not treat me like a kid? I have to fight Tony and Uncle Steve to go on any mission, no matter how small." (Out of all the Avengers, Tony's the only one who gets first name basis with Peter. Peter usually adds a Mister or Miss. Some people, like Natasha and Steve, get Aunt and Uncle. Steve complains about feeling old when that happens)

"It'll take time, Peter," Natasha says, pulling him so he's lying on her lap. She keeps running her hands through his hair. "I'll yell at Steve, but give it time. Maybe for your eighteenth birthday. Get some rest." She feels Peter start to relax, and when he's almost asleep, Natasha leans over and kisses his forehead. Her ribs complain, but the feeling of Peter smiling and finally falling asleep are worth it.

"That's nice of you to say, Nat, but he's not going out on anything big for a while." (Very few people in the tower get to call Natasha anything but her full name. She tells them when they can call her a nickname. Call her a nickname by yourself and risk her wrath.)

"I know. I saw Fury's missive. Nightmare?"

"I don't sleep much either." Steve shifts around in his chair. "But I couldn't help but think of what would happen if someone found us."

"We'd fight them off. Go to sleep, Steve. I'm not going to sleep tonight." Natasha picks her phone back up and starts to type. "Please."

The rest of the night passes in relative peace. Tony does eventually fall asleep, because Natasha hears him come gasping awake sometime before dawn. He comes out for a bottle of water and a blanket (which goes over Bruce). Clint stays asleep, and Natasha uses him for a footrest the whole night. She pokes his side a little, where he's especially ticklish, but he doesn't even twitch. Peter wakes up twice, and both times, Natasha pets his head until he falls asleep. Bucky floats in and out of consciousness. One time, he and Steve wake up at the same time, and they slip outside to patrol, Natasha assumes.

"Did you sleep at all, Tash?" Clint asks when he wakes up. Natasha moves Peters head as she stands up.

"I'm not tired," she replies. Clint looks her up and down and rolls his eyes. To his very trained eye, she looks exhausted. To Steve's slightly less trained eye, as he stomps snow off of his boots, she looks tired. To Tony, when he comes out to ask Clint if it's light enough to go and fix the Quinjet, she looks slightly less put together than usual.

The Quinjet gets fixed, (there was a loose cable connecting the landing gear to the computer, a simple fix, though Bucky looks on nervously), and the Avengers make their way home. Clint bodily forces Natasha to lay down and pets her head until she's lulled into a half sleep, her head on his lap, her feet in Steve's. When they get back to the tower, she finds a blanket draped over her.

No one had fun during the night on the Quinjet, but this they know: The Avengers take care of their own.

**Cute, right? I don't actually have much of an Author's Note, except to say thank you to DarylDixon'sLover, I.D.'s Fantasy, LoverOfThings (I told you guys that if you leave reviews, I'll update sooner. Sometimes I forget that I'm supposed to be writing this because of how busy things get, so everyone's reviews really do help), and Guest, yes a Clint-centered one is on its way. It's also a Christmas story, so I'll have to bust my butt to get it out. It may be a Christmas/New Years story…**

**Anyway, have an amazing day/night/week! Remember that you'll never have to relive this day. If it wasn't all that fun, it's okay!**


End file.
